PREDATORY UNCLE TARGETS TODDLERS

CHAPTER TWO: "TRUE TALES FROM THE CORPORATE UNDERBELLY"
or "FORGET YOUR KID'S COLLEGE FUND! AND WHO NEEDS MILK ANYWAY?"

1) The RIAA today sent a "SETTLEMENT LETTER" to ALL parents of children under
3 years old offering a TODDLER SETTLEMENT RATE for online copyright infringement
if they simply SEND PAYMENT to major record labels BEFORE THEIR CHILDREN LEARN
TO READ.

(AND IF PARENTS NEVER LET THEIR CHILDREN LEARN TO READ, THE RIAA WILL OFFER A
CUT RATE DEAL ON THEIR THOUGHTFUL SETTLEMENT RATE!)

2) "OUR GOAL IS TO MAKE THIS EASIER FOR THE PARENTS," said RIAA President Cary
Sherman."...It is inevitable that EVERY CHILD IN AMERICA WILL INFRINGE COPYRIGHT
SOONER OR LATER. With our 'TODDLER SETTLEMENT' RATE, PARENTS CAN AVOID THOSE
PESKY LAWSUITS. CONSIDER IT A WAY TO INVEST IN YOUR CHILD'S FUTURE."

(THEY'LL EVEN SEND COMPLIMENTARY RIAA CLOWNS TO YOUR CHILD'S PARTY!)

3)The TODDLER SETTLEMENT REQUIRES PARENTS to LOG EVERYTHING THEIR CHILD EVER DOES
ONLINE and to MAKE THOSE LOGS AVAILABLE TO THE RIAA AT REGULAR INTERVALS.

"IT CAN JUST BECOME A PART OF EVERY BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION," added RIAA's counsel at
Holme, Roberts and Owen;"BLOW OUT THE CANDLES AND SEND YOUR INTERNET LOGS TO UNCLE
RIAA!"

(SNARLED UNCLE RIAA AS HE CLOSED THE BEDROOM DOOR: "SLEEP WELL, MY PRETTIES.")

Information from the Electronic Frontier Foundation newsletter. To read full post:
<http://www.eff.org/cgi/tiny?urlID=556>